Dan Blather's Greatest Hits

The Media Research Center has compiled a list of Dan Rather's screwball leftist agenda comments. It's a must read that will have you rolling on the floor laughing your ass off. It's almost as funny as his concept of how he thinks conservative Americans speak but are actually bizarre colloquialisms that insult the intelligence of his audience. This was particulary true on election night. For those who missed that ‘historic' broadcast here are a few of his moronic quotes:

"Well, we said it many times- if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun"
"This race is as hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too- long car ride home from the beach."
"He swept through the south like a tornado through a trailer park."
"I know that you'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than consider the possibility that John Kerry would lose Ohio."
"Are your fingernails beginning to sweat."
"...closer than Timmy and Lassie."
‘Let's hit these biscuits with a dab of gravy."
"Turn the lights down - the party just got wilder."
"No question now that Kerry's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire, and the bill collectors at the door."
"His chances are slim right now, and if he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town."
"Sip it, savor it, photostat it, underline it in red, put it in an album, hang it on the wall: George Bush is the next president of the United States."

Mr. Blather's comments that night showed how out of touch he is with the American people or to use a colloquialism he might appreciate: When it comes to understanding Americans, Mr Rather is as lost as a small ball in a tall field of grass!

The quotes of Mr. Rather over the course of his career and collected by the Media Research Center show a clear bias against conservatives that no amount of his denying can dispel. Some examples are:

"The new Republican majority in Congress took a big step today on its legislative agenda to demolish or damage government aid programs, many of them designed to help children and the poor."
— Leading off the March 16, 1995 CBS Evening News.

"Republicans kill the bill to clean up sleazy political fund-raising. The business of dirty campaign money will stay business as usual."
— CBS Evening News, February 26, 1998.

There are many, many more offered at the Media Research site. But the most apropos of Mr. Rather is how he sums up himself, in his own words:

"A Dumb-Ass All My Life"
"Look, we've made mistakes in the past. Somebody wrote in the paper the other day that I was, quote, ‘boneheaded.' Well, of course, it's a matter of record I'm boneheaded, said, ‘well, this is bizarre.' Well, of course I'm bizarre, you know, we've known that for a long time...Somebody, I don't know if he put it exactly this way, but he said, ‘well, you know, it's a dumb-ass thing he's doing.' Well, you know, I've been a dumb-ass all my life."
— On the July 19, 2001 Imus in the Morning discussing the CBS Evening News's near-blackout of the scandal surrounding Democratic Congressman Gary Condit.

Mr. Rather, to that I say ‘Touche'!